The last two weeks at church we looked a little at ethics. With the specific situations of marriage (
here) and raising children (
here) as examples. Real-life examples, of course!
In two talks on such key matters there has to be selectivity. There are so many good things to say, pitfalls to avoid, etc. How to choose? In some cases, the choices might be idiosyncratic. But here's one principal I did have in mind:
speak of what's right before what's not right.
We naturally ponder the 'edges' of ethical topics. They're difficult, and they might show if our ideas are liveable at all.
So when we address marriage, we ask: what if the husband is abusive?; what about divorce and remarriage?; what if the spouses completely disagree on major decisions?; what if one spouse in an existing marriage changes totally by becoming Christian?
Or with child-raising: what about single parents?; what about the infertile?; what about blended families?; what if one parent is an atheist and the other a Christian?
They're great questions!
But I didn't address them in my talks (except to acknowledge the pain that some of them cause us).
The reason is that, I am convinced, we need to first hear what's at the centre. The ideal and positive goals, the principals that apply in all cases. That is, let exceptional circumstances be exceptional. Deal with these only after, and on the basis of, what is normal, good, and general.
To use the terms in the title of this blog entry: sort out what's right, for these principals form the base to help us make progress with what's not right.
